The Brides of Christ

CONFLICTS..with your man


was "taken out of man" (Gen 2:23), and therefore the man has the preeminence. "The head of the woman is the man;" but yet honour is to be shown to the wife, "as unto the weaker vessel" (1Cr 11:3,8,9; 1Pe 3:7). Several women are mentioned in Scripture as having been endowed with prophetic gifts, as Miriam (Exd 15:20), Deborah (Jdg 4:4,5), Huldah (2Ki 22:14), Noadiah (Neh 6:14), Anna (Luk 2:36,37), and the daughters of Philip the evangelist (Act 21:8,9). Among the Hebrews it devolved upon women to prepare the meals for the household (Gen 18:6; 2Sa 13:8), to attend to the work of spinning (Exd 35:26; Pro 31:19), and making clothes (1Sa 2:19; Pro 31:21), to bring water from the well (Gen 24:15; 1Sa 9:11), and to care for the flocks (Gen 29:6; Exd 2:16). In our society today, however, women hold many more roles and, for good or ill, the world has been directly affected by the working woman.

The word "woman," as used in Mat 15:28, Jhn 2:4 and Jhn 20:13, 15, implies tenderness and courtesy and not disrespect. Only where revelation is known has woman her due place of honour assigned to her.


I know as a woman how difficult it can be to deal with men.  I have a loving husband that treats me like a queen, but many are not so lucky.  Nor was it always like that for me.  I wanted to discuss with you something near and dear to my heart.  What it means to be a woman today.  In the above scripture it discusses the need for men to honor and tenderly deal with their wives.  This is something that should come naturally, but is also just as often missing in our homes.  Many of us can point to current or past situations in which our men failed us in this regard.  HOWEVER, I want to share this thought with you.

ROMANS 14: 12 So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. 

I submit that it is not required that men treat you as you feel you deserve, but that you instead respond in the manner GOD feels you should.  That is, you should show the nature of Christ which is the essence of being a Christian (Christ like) and make sure that, regardless of your personal situation, YOU are prepared to give a good account for yourself and your children before God.

Being a queen is not necessarily a ruling position.  A queen's role is to be a role model for her subjects.  To be in a place of honor beside her king and have the king's ear.  In any good kingdom (note that it always refers to lands ruled by a monarch as a KINGdom, ladies), the queen is first among his subjects, and very often the one on whose advice he moves.  Therefore, it is not necessary for women to have the last word, but rather, to have a good word.  Any king worth his salt is going to honor his queen by listening to her input and, hopefully, adjusting for her desires.

Now, I understand that many of us are not in that situation.  That does not matter to God.  Esther was placed in a tough spot, and brought before her king.  She violated the law so as to speak to her leader and bring mercy to her people.  Who knows ladies, how your anointing is playing out in your home?  Your prayers for your family may be the very thing that moves God's heart upon your husband or companion or boyfriend, and saves his soul.

1Cr 7:12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1Cr 7:14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1Cr 7:16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save [thy] husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save [thy] wife?

So, if you have a husband who is not saved, or is not treating you right, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling because God may just pull your husband out.  You are making your children holy by your sacrifice. 

The natural inclination is to argue, fight back, push back, insist that you have your say.  Ladies, believe me when I say that will never bring peace into your home.  Most men won't take it, and the argument grows.  The bible tells us that a soft word is like apples of gold in pitchers of silver. Learning that we don't need the LAST word, just the right word is more important than winning a fight.  Conflicts bring confusion and often hurt us and our children more than we know.  To avoid this, DON'T JUST WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A QUEEN, ACT LIKE A QUEEN.

A queen is regal, calm, loving, supportive, respectful, honest and strong.  Strength can be shown in many ways, not just in argument.  God is not requiring anyone to treat you in any particular way when it comes to your salvation.  Instead, he is expecting YOU to treat others in a particular way.  The onus is on you, the woman, to be a lady.  To treat yourself with respect and dignity if others will not.  To make yourself of no reputation and see yourself as a queen is your greatest victory.  There have been times I have wanted to correct my husband, but I watch and wait, and USUALLY (though not always) he sees the results of his potential decision, and makes the one best for US.  If not, I determine to help guide the next decision making process, but not to allow struggle to define our marriage. 

Ask yourself, is it worth the fight?  If so, take it to the Lord and let him determine the best course of battle.  Be a lady, be a queen, and you will see your king emerge.

In Loving Care,

Sister Dana Neddeau